Finding Strength in the Ordinary: A Journey of Self-Acceptance, Kindness and Purpose

This reflective narrative is loosely inspired by the journey of a client supported by Mahalakshmi Rajagopal. Certain details have been adapted or omitted to protect the individual’s privacy while preserving the essence of the journey.

Finding My Own Identity

Growing up, I often felt that there was nothing particularly special about me.

When I was born, my father had lost his job, and my grandmother was fighting cancer. Somewhere within me, I feel I still carry some of the emotional baggage associated with that time.

My childhood was memorable in many ways. As a child, I was extremely close to my father. I could not sleep without him. I wet the bed until I was around eleven years old, yet he never said a word about it, even when it affected him too.

As I grew older, however, things began to change. I became closer to my elder sister, partly because I started distancing myself from my father as his attitude changed and I witnessed repeated abuse and mistreatment towards other members of our family.

As I entered adolescence, I began dating quite early. Much of my confidence and self-esteem came from the way people around me treated me.

I wanted attention. I craved it.

I often felt invisible. My sister was the brighter child academically, and after my younger brother was born, I felt that my importance within the family had begun to diminish. My father had always wanted a son, and after my brother's birth, I felt that I had lost some of the bond and love I had once shared with him.

I began searching for that missing love through relationships outside my family.

Over time, however, I realised that in trying to fill this emotional void, I was not respecting myself enough. I was not respecting my own needs, my sense of self, or my body.

After being in a relationship where I did not feel respected or loved, I made a decision: I needed to start finding love within myself.

Learning to Accept Myself

I began learning to love myself, accept my shortcomings, and work on the areas where I wanted to grow.

But as I started doing this, another challenge emerged: my increasing weight.

I tried not to let it bother me, but I found it difficult to overcome my fear of being out of shape or physically unattractive. My family was supportive, but their support alone could not change how I felt about myself.

Academics had also been a struggle for me. Until Class 10, I found subjects such as mathematics and science particularly difficult.

I was constantly aware of my sister's academic achievements. She completed high school with excellent grades, and I began putting pressure on myself to compete with her and perform even better.

I worked extremely hard in Class 12, but I still could not match her academic performance.

For a long time, I followed in her footsteps because I believed that the way she did things must be the right way. In many ways, this also made me dependent on her.

Following her did not bother me as much as the way I felt others perceived me.

I often felt like I had no identity of my own. I was somewhere behind the curtains rather than standing on a stage of my own. I was often recognised as her sister rather than as an individual with my own personality.

Being Seen Differently

Things began to change when I met someone during Class 12.

For perhaps the first time, I felt seen. I felt important.

He appreciated qualities in me that I had never really acknowledged myself. He helped me recognise that I was a person who found it difficult to hurt others.

He would often tell me that I lacked the ability to say no, yet he also saw something beautiful in my reluctance to hurt or trouble another person.

These were aspects of myself that I had never noticed before.

Through that relationship, I began to understand something important: I did not have to be extraordinary to have value.

I could simply be a beautiful, ordinary person.

That realisation helped me begin seeing myself differently and encouraged me to do more of the things I genuinely cared about.

Discovering Purpose Through Helping Others

During an internship, I was teaching children from orphan homes.

Near the place where I worked, I would stop every day for tea. After a few visits, I developed a bond with the family living there.

It was a large family consisting of grandparents, parents, and three grandchildren. They had been living on the street for several years while trying to sustain their livelihood and save money for the children's future.

The children struggled with their studies. Their parents had not received much education themselves and could not afford tuition for them.

That was when I decided that alongside my internship, I would spend time teaching these children.

Among the three children, the eldest boy, Satyam, was particularly hardworking. He often told me that he dreamed of studying in a bigger and better school.

My internship ended after two months, but I did not stop teaching them.

For more than a year, I continued visiting the children. I would go there directly after college and spend some of my holidays teaching them.

Then one day, while I was returning from college, I received a call from their grandmother.

She told me that Satyam had been admitted to the school for which I had been preparing him. It was known as one of the best government schools.

As I was travelling home, I could feel tears rolling down my face.

That moment changed something within me.

I realised that I had the ability to do good and that I wanted to use that ability to help others reach their potential.

I was in my second year of college when I decided that I wanted to pursue social work and dedicate myself to working with children and people in need.

Becoming a Better Version of Myself

There are still unresolved experiences from my childhood that I am learning to understand and work through.

But I have begun directing my energy towards becoming a better version of myself each day.

I want to love beyond barriers and practise kindness regardless of the situation.

I have started appreciating myself for small achievements. Instead of constantly putting myself down, I am learning to recognise my shortcomings, understand them, and work on them.

My family environment has not always been easy. Amid my difficult relationship with my father and the negative atmosphere I have sometimes experienced at home, I continue trying to move forward and work towards the life I want.

Body image is another area I continue to work on.

I am learning to approach body positivity by focusing more on my health instead of trying to achieve a particular body weight or body type.

Every day, I try to develop myself in different aspects of life — becoming kinder, wiser, more self-aware, and more capable of respecting and loving myself unconditionally.

I have also begun putting my own needs and wellbeing before others when necessary.

At the same time, I continue to care deeply about people.

I believe in giving people — including myself — opportunities to recognise mistakes, learn from them, and become better.

Whatever work I am given, I try to give it my best without judging the importance of the task.

Over time, my family has also begun appreciating me for who I am and for the love and kindness I bring into their lives.

Being Outstanding in the Ordinary

I may not have done anything that the world would consider extraordinary.

But I continue trying to be outstanding in the ordinary.

I do not believe that making a difference always requires doing something big.

Sometimes, small acts of kindness and generosity can create meaningful change.

I believe in myself.

And much of my happiness comes from bringing smiles to others and trying, in my own way, to create a better world through kindness and generosity.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the central message of this personal story?

The story is about gradually developing self-acceptance, recognising one's own value, and discovering that meaningful change does not always require extraordinary achievements. Small acts of kindness, generosity, and genuine effort can also make a difference.

How did self-acceptance become part of this journey?

After experiencing a relationship in which she did not feel respected or loved, the narrator realised that she needed to stop looking entirely to others for validation and begin developing love and respect for herself.

How did teaching children influence her sense of purpose?

Teaching three children alongside her internship became an important turning point. When Satyam, one of the children she had been teaching, gained admission to the school he hoped to attend, she realised how meaningful it could be to help another person move closer to their potential. This experience influenced her decision to pursue social work.

How does the story approach body image?

Body image remains an ongoing area of personal growth. Instead of focusing on achieving a particular weight or body type, the narrator describes trying to focus more on health, self-respect, and body positivity.

What does “being outstanding in the ordinary” mean?

It reflects the belief that a person does not necessarily have to achieve something large or highly visible to make a difference. Everyday kindness, generosity, sincerity, and helping others can also have meaningful value.

What role does kindness play in the story?

Kindness gradually becomes an important part of how the narrator sees herself and the life she wants to build. Helping others, treating people with care, learning from mistakes, and trying to contribute positively become important sources of meaning and happiness.